It’s been over a year since I last updated this website. And if you follow Details Ink on Instagram, you may have also noticed that I only made 21 posts throughout the entire 2017. Which is kind of a sin in the online business world I think haha but it’s partly because, well, I got so busy with my architectural thesis, mural projects and events… and I just couldn’t seem to make time to sit and write about the things that were happening everyday. Those who know me have probably witnessed the numerous mental breakdowns caused by having to write captions for Instagram posts or deciding whether or not to publish the post at all. There has been so much unnecessary stress caused by the mere fact that… I am basically a cave woman.
Looking through an old notebook, I rediscovered my driving force. I panicked through this month because the reasons why I had to work so hard for certain aspects of life no longer made sense to me… but, at the coffee shop earlier, I saw something I wrote last October.
“Your job is to do your very best in
every opportunity you say yes to.
You have to push and delve – or it won’t count. And you have to make it count.
You have to make the best of this life. All or nothing.
Always All or Nothing.”
I guess I’m tired. And the once-rare feelings known as failure and rejection have been coming around more often, in the aspects of my life that I have chosen to neglect. I used to be able to get away with not caring but, now it seems much harder to do that. Maybe because we’re all getting older and there’s more at stake, and everyone’s standards are getting higher and everyone else is getting better. I don’t know. But, this is a good thing. A new challenge. Another opportunity to push myself even more than I already do.
The thing is, I really just want to do what I love. I want to do what I want to do, when I want to do it. And that is my problem.